I Might Be Back, Maybe
Some days I really miss writing for this blog. I spent a year trying to get a Twitch stream up and running with no success. I’m not sure why I have a compulsion to scream into the void but it seems I do. Although I’m trying to just spread my passion and knowledge to the world it seems like I’m just talking to myself.
I probably should find a larger blog to contribute to instead. I should be a team player for someone else. I have this intense desire to do things my own way and be the leader of my team, even if my team is just me and even if I’m playing in the most minor of minor leagues.
I’m not 100% convinced I want to give up streaming. It seems like it’s a wonderful medium and has the advantage that it has the highest ratio of time spent to content creation. All things require some social media promotion so let’s ignore the time spent there. With Twitch I can sit there and paint and that is the content. With a blog I also need to stop to take and process pictures, then write the actual article. I hope it shows that I spend real effort attempting to write well, which takes time. Time that I am either spending with my family, or spending painting.
It is hard to argue with zero Twitch channel growth. Sure, in a year I had managed to amass over 200 followers. The problem was it was a rare occurrence that even one would show up to watch the stream. I streamed for only an hour a night – that’s how long I paint – and I don’t think I had the following that would make someone plan to watch my stream. An hour was just too short to catch people’s attention.
There were other issues as well: my promotion skills are poor. I do some promotion but it is all tainted by an mistaken belief that if I paint well and am entertaining that people will find me. In all my years of twitter I had jealously read #followfriday posts looking for my name and never once made a post promoting the people I followed. I awarded likes greedily as if they were precious jewels I didn’t want to devalue.
Enough negativity. For whatever reason my painting, twitch, twitter, instagram and blog are not as popular as my ego tells me they should be. I am not an influencer. I need to decide to decide if I can be a content provider with no following, or maybe just a consumer of content. Maybe the world doesn’t need to see what I am painting.
O ye dead Poets, who are living still
Immortal in your verse, though life be fled,
And ye, O living Poets, who are dead
Though ye are living, if neglect can kill,
Tell me if in the darkest hours of ill,
With drops of anguish falling fast and red
From the sharp crown of thorns upon your head,
Ye were not glad you errand to fulfil?
Yes; for the gift and ministry of Song
Have something in them so divinely sweet,
It can assauge the bitterness of wrong;
Not in the clamor of the crowded street,
Not in the shouts and plaudit of the throng,
But in ourselves, are triump and defeat.The Poets by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow